How do I ... words?

Seriously, someone let me know. It's getting to be a problem.

11,004 notes

I’m never gonna wait
that extra twenty minutes
to text you back,
and I’m never gonna play
hard to get
when I know your life
has been hard enough already.
When we all know everyone’s life
has been hard enough already
it’s hard to watch
the game we make of love,
like everyone’s playing checkers
with their scars,
saying checkmate
whenever they get out
without a broken heart.
Just to be clear
I don’t want to get out
without a broken heart.
I intend to leave this life
so shattered
there’s gonna have to be
a thousand separate heavens
for all of my flying parts.
Andrea Gibson (via pukeyprince)

(via mayannee)

3 notes

I hate how creepy it sounds just to make this simple observation, but there’s this girl I work with who smells really nice. I don’t know if it’s her perfume or shampoo or what, but it’s a very pleasant aroma. I’m not even sure what it smells like. Sort of flowery, I guess? It’s weird how some smells aren’t really describable, but they bring back these vivid memories. For example I noticed today that this girl kept making me think of a time back when I lived in Miami. When I was really little, my mom would take me and my sisters out of school sometimes to play hookie. We would go to the movies or the mall or something. I remember there was this huge mall we would go to. We would get snow-cones and wander around this massive place. We were inside, but it felt like we were outside because the ceiling was mostly glass. And there was this really big water fountain (which we called a water mountain, because little kids messing up words is adorable), and around the fountain there were a bunch of flowers planted everywhere. The mall also had glass elevators, which were the whole reason for going to the mall. We would go up to the top floor and look out over the mall, and it pretty much felt like flying. It was the most fun you could possibly have. Ever. Especially if you got to push the button on the elevator.

So anyway, I wish there was a way to tell a girl she smells like playing hookie and eating snow-cones at a mall filled with flowers while riding a great glass elevator, without sounding incredibly creepy and insane.

Filed under rambles

2 notes

Oh my god. I just got Gone Home and I am loving it. I’m literally not doing anything but wandering around a dark, empty, (possibly haunted????) house, and looking at old stuff from the nineties, but it is amazing. The sense of atmosphere is incredible. I am Kaitlin Greenbriar and I really care about whatever happened to my family. Seriously, where the fuck are they? You go to Europe for a year, and when you come back they’re just gone? But really, there’s so much in this game and I want to find everything. I really care about my adorable little sister Sam, who seems to have been going on a little journey of her own while I’ve been gone. A journey of self discovery, that is. Namely discovering the fact that boys are gross and girls are pretty rad. At least that’s what it seems like this early on in the game. And while the game seems to be focused mainly on the relationship between Sam and Kaitlin, there’s so much more to it. I haven’t found that much about their mom yet, but I really kinda like and feel sorry for their dad. He’s just this struggling author feeling a ton of pressure to improve and not just recycle the same story. And he’s also bonding with his daughter through The X-Files, which I mean, c’mon. that’s awesome. She had a little pillow fort set up in his TV room, and it’s adorable. And it seems like maybe she has an interest in following in his footsteps. I discovered a little story in his closet that she must have written in like the first grade and it’s wonderful. It reminded me of stuff I wrote when I was little, except instead of sailors and turtle people, for me it was astronauts and monkey people. I could probably keep writing all night, but I’m starting to ramble and I’m guessing I lost anyone who was reading this already. This game is so good. Just go buy it.

Filed under Gone Home rambles go buy this game now do it

0 notes

There’s this one line in Corinne Bailey Rae’s “Put your records on” that goes like, “Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet.” And it’s apparently the favorite song of this girl I know. She would often just sort of hum it under her breath. And one time a couple of years ago she sang that line and instead of saying cinnamon, she said Fitterman, and I still can’t hear that song without giggling like an idiot.

Filed under rambles my name is fitterman btdubs

0 notes

I’ve decided to start entering stories into contests more often, considering I almost won quite a lot of money that one time a few years ago. The problem is they almost always cost a bit of money to submit. So I’ve narrowed it down to about three that I’ll submit into different contests, but even only three stories can get quite pricey depending on the contest. So I need some help narrowing it down.

The three I’m going with are “Hi" the one that made me a semi-finalist in the Norman Mailer contest a few years ago, "Extinguished" the weird sci-fi one that I’m worried I like way more than anyone else does, and "Sleeping Together" which I’m not really sure about but it fills me with good feels.

So I need some feedback from you guys. If you could only pick one, which story would you enter in a contest?

Filed under Help me please

0 notes

So there was this one time in an English class I had, when we were supposed to read a short story and then write about it for our homework. Just a sort of journal/reaction to the story. I don’t remember the title or author, which is kind of a bummer because it was a really good story. Anyway, I read the story and was astounded by how much I empathized with the main character. Like, everything he was feeling was stuff I was dealing with every day, and I just really connected with this guy. My reaction paper was basically me going on about how great a job that writer did of creating a relatable character and how I totally felt the same way. I wasn’t entirely sure what the point of thee story was though, which left me a little confused. It just seemed to be about this dude dealing with everyday stuff.

The next day we turned in our papers, and talked about the story. And as we were talking, I started feeling… weird. No else seemed to like, it or the main character, as much as I did. They all thought there was something wrong with him or something. And then towards the end of the discussion the professor started telling us about the author and about the time that she wrote the story and her reasons for writing it. She wrote it after vietnam, which was pretty obvious. The story was about a guy who had come home from the war a few months previously. And she wrote it to inform people about the troubles of post-traumatic stress disorder.

That’s right. The main character, the dude I felt such a strong connection with, had PTSD. As soon as she mentioned this I realized how great it was that I hadn’t participated that much in the discussion, because I would have sounded like a freaking idiot. That’s a pretty huge detail to fly straight over your head. The second thought that crossed my mind was, “Crap! That paper.” Not only had I demonstrated my complete lack of ability to read deeper meanings beyond the very surface of a story, I had basically inadvertently told my professor I had PTSD or something. My next thought was “Oh shit! Do I have PTSD?” And my next thought after that was that that made zero sense. What trauma have I ever been through? That’s stupid. Like, what? *makes super confused face of confusion*

It was a really weird day, and I think about it a lot.

I feel like I had more to say on this topic, but it has all suddenly left my brain. Probably getting some lunch or something. Not sure why I’m writing about it right now anyway. Like I said, I guess I think about it a lot. Anyway, this has been another edition of pointless rambling journal theater! See you all next time!

Filed under journal

1 note

I feel like I may have actually forgotten how to converse with people.

That is, if I ever knew in the first place.

Lately, it feels like I’m either shouting into a void,

or staring in confusion at anyone who tries to interact with me.

The only middle ground is when I’m being embarrassingly awkward,

Or just alienating the people close to me.

0 notes

Apparently it’s national sibling day or something. So here’s me and my sisters looking incredibly stupid. Enjoy!

Apparently it’s national sibling day or something. So here’s me and my sisters looking incredibly stupid. Enjoy!

3 notes

Sort of a masterpost thingy

how-do-i-words:

Hey, whoa, hey! I just got some random notes on some pretty old posts, which is pretty cool. But it made me realize, I’ve actually gotten a few followers since I started this tumblr, some of whom I don’t even know irl. Which means unless they decided to scroll way back on my blog for no reason, they probably haven’t seen some of my stories. And I mean if you’re following me, you’re probably at least somewhat interested in my writing. So I figured I should take the opportunity to showcase some of those older stories. So here’s a list of links to some of my stories and journal entries which you may or may not be aware of. Likes and reblogs make me happy, but any sort of actual feedback (with, like, words and stuff) makes me ecstatic with love and general affection towards whoever is kind enough to let me know what they think of my work. Even if— no, especially if you hate it. That is information I need to know. Anyway here you go.

Stories

Hi

Extinguished

Ignition (This one is just the very beginning of a story which I really need to work on more. (It’s also a sort of prequel to Extinguished))

Sleeping Together

The Problem (Yet another unfinished one. The difference between this and the Professor Calamity one though, is that I’m not really sure how this one’s going to end.)

I skipped some of the ones I don’t like as much, but they’re still there if you want to go looking for them.

Journals

I try not to call these stories as much, because they’re slightly less fictional than the things I posted above. But some people seem to enjoy them, and to them, they are definitely stories, so… yeah.

The Trouble with Words

Things Happen (in October)

Pizza Thoughts

Almost

Desserts, Butts, and Art

Again, I skipped some if they were too personal, or weird, or boring, but they’re still there. You just have to look for them.

There ya go. Check ‘em out. Give me some notes guys! I love you all!

Reposting so people might actually see it this time. Seriously guys, what the hell? Everytime I post anything tumblr dies.

Filed under either all my friends are butts or I have the worst timing ever probably both