How do I ... words?

Seriously, someone let me know. It's getting to be a problem.

23,974 notes

awkward-aeries:

the-average-gatsby:

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy

brace yourselves

so there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army.

the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of their finest knights, clad in the best armor and each with their own personal squire. the second kingdom sends 50 of their knights, with fine leather armor and a few dozen squires of their own. the third kingdom sends their one and only knight, an elderly warrior who has long since passed his prime, with his own personal squire.

the night before the big battle, the knights in the first kingdom drink and make merry, partying into the late hours of the night. the knights in the second kingdom aren’t as well off, but have their own supply of grog and also drink late into the night.

in the third camp, the faithful squire gets a rope and slings it over the branch of a tall tree, making a noose, and hangs a pot from it. he fills the pot with stew and has a humble dinner with the old knight.

the next morning, the knights in the first two kingdoms are hung over and unable to fight, while the knight in the third kingdom is old and weary, unable to get up. in place of the knights, the squires from all three kingdoms go and fight. the battle lasts long into the night, but by the time the dust settled, only one squire was left standing - the squire from the third kingdom.

and it just goes to show you that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides

This is the best thing I’ve ever read

I am so angry

0 notes

I just got two random follows in as many days from people I don’t even know. First off, thanks. Second, why did you follow me!? I must know so I can continue to do the thing! Also, feel free to share the answer to number two with all your friends. My follower count isn’t as minuscule as it was weeks ago, but it’s still pretty sad. And lastly, PLEASE feel free to send me asks and writing prompts and whatever else you want. They can be anon. I don’t care. Some form of communication is all I’m asking for. Okay, that’s it. You’re all awesome! Bye! :D

Filed under rambles

28,303 notes

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

austinabridged:

itriedthatonceitwasabadmove:

As a professional internet, it’s my job to search the web for quality, intellectually stimulating content. Like this.

The heavens parted, and delivered unto us a scion of hope, a glimmer of immortality. This song.

Its been a few hours since I posted this and I’m pretty sure I’ve gone back to listen to it about twelve times now and each time it still makes me almost develop a hernia from laughing so much.

You guys. This is important.

(via paigelfinch)

108 notes

definitelynotsara:

flux—and—flow:

hey guys!! so, this is the first giveaway i’ve ever done and i’m really excited!
after seeing the reviews on steam for Gone Home during the summer sale (i honestly don’t think i read a single review that wasn’t positive before i played it myself, that’s…why i bought it!), i was really depressed and disappointed that this lovely little game was being trashed, when i felt that it was something beautiful, original, and would be deeply appreciated by the right audiences. so, i grabbed 5 copies to give away to you guys here on tumblr, because i think there’s a lot of people who would really enjoy it and i’d like to get them playing it! even if you’re just curious, go for it (& let me know what you think!) 
some quick questions! 

flux, what the hell is Gone Home

from wiki - On June 7, 1995, Kaitlin Greenbriar returns home―a mansion in Arbor Hill, Oregon willed to Kaitlin's father by his uncle, Oscar Masan―not long after midnight on a stormy night after a yearlong trip abroad. She spots a note on the door from her sister, Samantha, telling her to not go looking for answers as to where she is. As she enters the house Kaitlin realizes nobody is home, not even her parents, so she investigates the house to find out where they all are. Players guide Kaitlin through this process, learning some things known to Kaitlin along with new facts about her family and their experiences over the past year.
aka it’s an first person perspective exploration game about unraveling the story of non-sexualized queer girls in the 90’s, among a bunch of other stories about your family. it’s a story that will stay with me for years, and i don’t want to spoil too much but it really is excellent and touching.

but i’m not a gamer i won’t like —

half or more of the criticism i’ve seen this game get is that it’s not “a real game” (whatever the fuck that means…and trust me, i could start getting political about how this one particular narrative gets so much hate but that’s for a different post) so i really ENCOURAGE people who aren’t gamers to give this a shot! you walk around and look at things, you don’t need good reflexes, there’s no time limits, it’s like portal without the puzzle part.

my computer is really crappy though :(

LOL i hear you - i played it on a litle tiny worn-out netbook that was SO not made to run video games!! sure, it really struggled to run it, and it was a little jammed up/laggy in places, but since you take your time with this game anyway, i didn’t mind at all! i think you should be good, this isn’t that intensive of a game for your computer to run. should be ok!

i already own it!

SWEET. if you wanna reblog it to let your followers see, that’s fine, just pop me a note in my inbox or your tags to lemme know you’re not entering, or if you want me to send it to a friend, that’s fine too, lemme know when you win! ♥
i’m going to use a random number generator thing to do the giveaway with, and the copies are on steam so you need steam, i would think, lol.
one reblog & one like count as entries…
(but you’ll only get counted entering once for each, twice total)
and if you write a comment about why you’d like to play it (it can seriously be a short sentence, or whatever you feel like writing)
…that’s certainly going to improve your chances! 
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME TO WIN. but i have reserved 2 copies for my CURRENT followers. don’t follow me just for the contest, because that sucks for everyone involved, lol. the other 3 are fair game (teehee) for everyone! so go for it! contest ends on the 15th! :)


I already have the game and love it. Just reblogging to let more people know about the awesomeness of this game. It falls into that category of one of those games I think anyone who’s willing to hold the controller should play.

definitelynotsara:

flux—and—flow:

hey guys!! so, this is the first giveaway i’ve ever done and i’m really excited!

after seeing the reviews on steam for Gone Home during the summer sale (i honestly don’t think i read a single review that wasn’t positive before i played it myself, that’s…why i bought it!), i was really depressed and disappointed that this lovely little game was being trashed, when i felt that it was something beautiful, original, and would be deeply appreciated by the right audiences. so, i grabbed 5 copies to give away to you guys here on tumblr, because i think there’s a lot of people who would really enjoy it and i’d like to get them playing it! even if you’re just curious, go for it (& let me know what you think!) 

some quick questions! 

flux, what the hell is Gone Home

from wiki - On June 7, 1995, Kaitlin Greenbriar returns home―a mansion in Arbor Hill, Oregon willed to Kaitlin's father by his uncle, Oscar Masan―not long after midnight on a stormy night after a yearlong trip abroad. She spots a note on the door from her sister, Samantha, telling her to not go looking for answers as to where she is. As she enters the house Kaitlin realizes nobody is home, not even her parents, so she investigates the house to find out where they all are. Players guide Kaitlin through this process, learning some things known to Kaitlin along with new facts about her family and their experiences over the past year.

aka it’s an first person perspective exploration game about unraveling the story of non-sexualized queer girls in the 90’s, among a bunch of other stories about your family. it’s a story that will stay with me for years, and i don’t want to spoil too much but it really is excellent and touching.

but i’m not a gamer i won’t like —

half or more of the criticism i’ve seen this game get is that it’s not “a real game” (whatever the fuck that means…and trust me, i could start getting political about how this one particular narrative gets so much hate but that’s for a different post) so i really ENCOURAGE people who aren’t gamers to give this a shot! you walk around and look at things, you don’t need good reflexes, there’s no time limits, it’s like portal without the puzzle part.

my computer is really crappy though :(

LOL i hear you - i played it on a litle tiny worn-out netbook that was SO not made to run video games!! sure, it really struggled to run it, and it was a little jammed up/laggy in places, but since you take your time with this game anyway, i didn’t mind at all! i think you should be good, this isn’t that intensive of a game for your computer to run. should be ok!

i already own it!

SWEET. if you wanna reblog it to let your followers see, that’s fine, just pop me a note in my inbox or your tags to lemme know you’re not entering, or if you want me to send it to a friend, that’s fine too, lemme know when you win! ♥

i’m going to use a random number generator thing to do the giveaway with, and the copies are on steam so you need steam, i would think, lol.

  • one reblog & one like count as entries
  • (but you’ll only get counted entering once for each, twice total)
  • and if you write a comment about why you’d like to play it (it can seriously be a short sentence, or whatever you feel like writing)
  • …that’s certainly going to improve your chances! 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME TO WIN. but i have reserved 2 copies for my CURRENT followers. don’t follow me just for the contest, because that sucks for everyone involved, lol. the other 3 are fair game (teehee) for everyone! so go for it! contest ends on the 15th! :)

I already have the game and love it. Just reblogging to let more people know about the awesomeness of this game. It falls into that category of one of those games I think anyone who’s willing to hold the controller should play.

1 note

For someone who sometimes has trouble articulating thoughts into words, the words, when they’re there, are incredible and moving.

My friend, Meghan.

She was talking about a thing I wrote a while ago. It’s a conversation I find myself returning to whenever I’m having trouble, with writing, with life, whatever. Probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.

2 notes

http://how-do-i-words.tumblr.com/post/89333883316/tagged-by-lauralienstuff-11-questions-rule

how-do-i-words:

Tagged by lauralienstuff.

11 Questions

rule 1: always post the rules

rule 2: answer the questions the person who tagged you asked, and write 11 new ones

rule 3: tag 11 people and link them to the post.

rule 4: actually tell them you tagged them

1. Favorite book or book series?

Seriously, anyone who doesn’t know the answer to this question doesn’t know me well enough to even care. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy. All five books. And my heart aches at the fact that there aren’t more. Beyond that, (since that’s a pretty boring answer if you know me) I recently reread the Series of Unfortunate Events books and was pleasantly surprised at how much I still enjoyed them. They’re the kinds of books I would love to read to my kids if I ever had any, although I’m not sure what the best age would be to do so.

reblabbing for daytime peoples….

Filed under lauralienstuff puffologic iamanemily kueystuff goodnightbabes mayannee rizic theonegingerchick cosmicanimagus

2 notes

Tagged by lauralienstuff.

11 Questions

rule 1: always post the rules

rule 2:  answer the questions the person who tagged you asked, and write 11 new ones

rule 3:  tag 11 people and link them to the post.

rule 4:  actually tell them you tagged them

1. Favorite book or book series?

Seriously, anyone who doesn’t know the answer to this question doesn’t know me well enough to even care. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy. All five books. And my heart aches at the fact that there aren’t more. Beyond that, (since that’s a pretty boring answer if you know me) I recently reread the Series of Unfortunate Events books and was pleasantly surprised at how much I still enjoyed them. They’re the kinds of books I would love to read to my kids if I ever had any, although I’m not sure what the best age would be to do so.

2. What kind of weather do you prefer? 
I actually quite like the weather we’ve had the past few days. Sort of gloomy and cloudy and stuff, rainy every now and then. The kind of day over which a meandering trumpet solo would play in a movie or something. (I’d like to represent the trombone here, because I mean, c’mon, you could get downright lugubrious with that nonsense. But we all know it would be a trumpet. As long as it’s not a sax I’ll be fine.) And then the nights when all that built up tension is released in a great thunderstorm like the clouds are finally dealing with the shit that had them acting that way. Those are pretty nice. Of course I do like nice pretty days like we’ve also had recently, when you could draw smiley faces on the clouds and find yourself in a mario level. I’m just not a fan of how hot the sun gets, although I guess it’s worth it when it shines in all those pretty ways which I’m not even going to try to describe, because this is only the second question and it’s already ridiculous.

3. What’s your ideal time to wake up?

10:00 in the morning. Still early enough to be called morning, but it almost feels like cheating.

4. Would you rather give up french fries or ice cream? 

French fries. The quality of french fries is wildly variable. Sure, sometimes you get that one that’s perfectly golden and crispy on the outside with the potato-y goodness on the inside that makes your eyes roll back in your head. But just as often if not more so, you get those ones that are brown and soggy, or the ones that look like they’re going to be great but are actually just salty, oily, potato bits. No I would much rather have ice cream. Dependable in it’s tastiness. You only stop liking ice cream when you’ve eaten too much. At which point you stop for a while. Weeks, months even. And then when you go back, that first spoon is actual heaven.

5. Do you have any tattoos? Or an interest in someday getting any?

Not really, no. I can’t think of anything that I care enough about to want it permanently etched into my skin. Possibly the day will come when I have an idea for one too glorious not to get, but I don’t think that day is coming anytime soon.

6. What size sock do you wear? (no-shows to knee-highs) 

Ankle, I guess. Weird question. I used to only wear those ones that went pretty far up you calves. Crew I think they’re called. But that was just because I didn’t know other sock sizes existed and my mom bought all my close.


7. What color do you dress in the most? 

Blue. The best color. I doubt it’s the color I look best in, but it’s a color I enjoy being surrounded by.

8. What’s your favorite restaurant? 

Dude, I don’t know. That’s another weird question. There’s a place in Chicago I ate at once, called Ed Debevic’s where the staff is rude to you or something. I was there on a band trip in high school with like probably a hundred other kids. Our server said she didn’t like the idea of entertaining us all, and we should entertain her. So she made one of us sing to her. All my friends in the booth I was sitting at pushed me out, and I could only think of one song, so I sang a few bars of “Staying Alive” in that ridiculous falsetto before she made me stop. So, there’s a pretty memorable restaurant, I guess.


9. Which is your favorite Doctor Who incarnations?

Eleven. People give his run a bunch of shit because they don’t like Steven Moffat for reasons that I’ve recently started to notice as well. But Matt Smith did some truly magical things with his portrayal and I loved him. Excited see Capaldi though.
10. Favorite pet aside from cat or dog? 

I’ve never had a pet other than a cat or dog. I’ve recently been thinking a lot about getting a bunny though.


11. Did you ever have braces? 

No. Probably needed them pretty badly though. If I were more self-conscious I probably wouldn’t smile nearly as much as I always do. But it’s pretty exhausting constantly worrying about how you look to people who aren’t you, especially if it means you can’t smile. And I figure if someone doesn’t like the way I look when I’m not paying attention to the way I look, then what happens when we’re hanging out and I’m enjoying myself so much that I slip up and show them a genuine grin? Or if I get close enough to someone that we’re really intimate and there is no way to self-monitor. What if I’m asleep and they look at me, drooling and sweating and whatever other junk I do when I’m asleep, and they think “ew” instead of “aww”? Do I even want to be near someone who doesn’t like the way I look when I smile? Or more importantly, do I want to have anything to do with the person who likes me when I’m too self-conscious to ever show them a real smile?

Well, that got kinda deep. Anyway, time for my questions.

1. Favorite video game? (I usually think these kinds of questions are dumb. I don’t even have a single answer to this one, but maybe some of you have a game the way I have a book.)

2. When’s the last time you danced?

3. What’s something you love (book, movie, breed of insect, whatever), that you can’t seem to get anyone else into? (The Team Ico games for me.)

4. Is there a place you can think of where you’ve had more fun than anywhere else? 

5. Is there someone you wish you could say something to but can’t?

6. Why?

7. What was the most you’ve ever laughed?

8. Listening to anything right now? What?

9. Best or worst memory? You choose.

10. What’s your go to activity for hanging with friends?

11. What’s the most _____ thing you’ve ever done? (stupid, brave, exciting, unfortunate, whatever you want)

Okay I’m just going to tag all my mutual follows, but there’s not eleven of them, and I’m pretty sure most of them don’t actually use tumblr anymore. Deal with it.

lauralienstuff, puffologic, iamanemily, kueystuff, goodnightbabes, mayannee, rizic, theonegingerchick, cosmicanimagus

Filed under lauralienstuff puffologic iamanemily kueystuff goodnightbabes mayannee rizic theonegingerchick cosmicanimagus