How do I ... words?

Seriously, someone let me know. It's getting to be a problem.

0 notes

Sometimes I think about how much I suck at people. Like maintaining relationships of any sort. I just am not good at talking, and saying things, and especially saying the right things at the right time. I think about my total social ineptitude, and sometimes I’m glad. I’m thankful. Because it means I didn’t inherit my dad’s people skills. It means I can’t manipulate them and shape their emotions like putty in my hands. It means I can’t wage any sort of psychological warfare with the people I love. In fact, it means I’m actually capable of love, something I’m almost certain he isn’t. Sure I don’t know what buttons to push to make a girl come chasing after me. But that means that if and when someone does decide to be with me, it will be because they actually care for me. Not because I tricked them into thinking they do. And I know I’ve got my own weird personality issues and disorders probably, but at least I don’t regard the people around me as pawns on a chess board meant to do my bidding, and act only in the way I think they should.

I’m glad I suck at this stuff, and I try to be as open about it as possible, because someday I’m gonna meet someone who loves me. Not in spite of these flaws. Not in ignorance of them. But because of them. They’ll think the way I stutter when I’m flustered is adorable. They will take immense pleasure in the look of panic I get when I have to talk on the phone. They will keep every crazy, rambling, wall of text, note or message I send them, as well as their own crazy, rambling response, and every once in a while they’ll look back at both with a smile of nostalgic embarrassment.

And most importantly they won’t hesitate to tell me, “Hey. You’re being a neurotic ass hat.” (Because that’s all I really need sometimes.) They’ll use those exact words, but they’ll probably say them in a way that sounds more like, “I love you.”

And I’m gonna love them even more for whatever craziness they’ve got going on. Because we’re all crazy in our own ways. I’m just glad I’m not the kind of crazy that waits forty years to show itself and makes me a totally destructive influence to everyone I touch.

I’m glad I suck at people, because the right ones don’t care.

Filed under journal

0 notes

I was in the middle of writing some post about cartoons or something I don’t even remember, because suddenly a little squiggly red line appeared under “Animaniacs.”

Is animaniac not a word!?

I’ve gone my entire life thinking animaniac was an actual word.

Filed under I mean I guess I never really thought about it it's not really a word that would come up in most conversations so I don't think I would have used it in front of people but I guess I just figured it was someone who behaved in an erratic cartoonish manner

30 notes

how-do-i-words asked: Hey. Just wanted to say this is really cool. Also, I saw in one of your posts something about the sonic forge that they have in Wakanda. Considering reports that the preview for Age of Ultron that they showed at SDCC this year ended with a shot of Cap's shield shattered into many pieces, do you think they are going to bring Black Panther into the MCU? And how do you think they would do it? Again, it's so awesome reading about the history of these characters from someone who obviously loves them.

wearewakanda:

Thanks for the kind words, friend! As far as the shield thing goes, it’s certainly possible but we’re not getting our hopes up that it’ll happen that way. That might sound cynical but unfortunately there have already been numerous occasions where an opportunity to introduce T’Challa was wasted in favor of another explanation. The Vibranium in Cap’s original shield, the origin of Falcon’s wings, and the Avengers’ Quinjets are all associated with Wakanda and the Black Panther. Unfortunately, the MCU has either ignored this or gone a different way (usually Stark gets credit).

image

That said, it seems like it’s only a matter of time. T’Challa is such an important part of Marvel’s history and we know that they’ve been trying to figure out a way to do it for a very long time. This shield rumor just seems particularly open to being another fake-out since Cap’s shield has been repaired/replaced several times in the comics and some methods involve characters that are already in the MCU. Also the description of the SDCC footage indicates it could be a part of a dream/vision sequence and Cap’s shield might be fine. So we’ll wait for more details before we get too excited.

-We Are Wakanda

You guys! A really awesome blog answered my question! If you’re at all interested in comics, especially marvel, and the Black Panther, go check them out!

Filed under wearewakanda marvel

0 notes

I have the weirdest headache right now. I’m not even sure it’s real. It’s like some kinda ghost headache.

0 notes

4:26 AM

I can’t sleep and I’m stuck lying in bed thinking about a lot of stuff. So I’m just gonna write some of them down, and maybe post it at some point. Blugh. Where do I start? It’s weird the way your mind can wander and then you try to think back on, like, the source of all the weird thoughts and tangents. I guess today was a pretty big day. I did a lot of stuff. I very rarely do that much stuff with that many people for such an extended period of time. It was pretty great. But then I get home, and I’m just exhausted. And yet rather than sleep, brain decides the best thing for me to do is think about and agonize over every little thing. So again, where do I start?

Read more …

Filed under journal actually this one isn't even a journal entry I didn't write it in my journal this one came straight from my brain directly to tumblr I guess that makes it one of the rambles but like a super long one